If I were straight, and my eyes blue,
Then I could have had a life with you.
It would be glorious like the wings of angels.
Yesterday I prayed three Hail Mary’s
So that I wouldn’t go to hell, and more.
I woke with a beaten expression:
A dream of getting beat for wearing pink.
My brown skin is tattooed on me though,
And the laughing dead know it.
You littered my path
With your blond curls,
Your long legs. And the eucalyptus
Leaves were crushed by the bottom
Of your bare feet, over and over again.
What of me now?
Like a hummingbird fluttering
Through the blue, I found you.
I sit here all alone, rocking back and fourth,
Imagining what could have been,
And of what it really is; unmatched us.
But I am gay, and my eyes brown,
The idea of you and me drowns.
I am a man that loves other men,
So I will continue waiting for them:
The needing and needing and needing.